Ishan vs Dipalee: The One Skill That Decided Which Manager Won the Client

    Two marketing managers, one make-or-break client project, two opposite outcomes. Avinash Chate breaks down how influence — not talent or effort — decided who won and who lost the account.

    Ishan vs Dipalee: The One Skill That Decided Which Manager Won the Client

    Ishan vs Dipalee: The One Skill That Decided Which Manager Won the Client

    Two marketing managers. Same firm, same market, same pressure. One built a team that delivered under fire and kept the client thrilled. The other lost the account to a competitor. The difference wasn't talent, effort, or even experience — it was influence, and it's a skill you can build.

    In short

    Where this sits on your Winning Kite

    Influence is Trait #18, sitting in the Social Skills cluster on the EQ — left — side of your Winning Kite (KITE Leadership Framework). But don't mistake it for a purely internal skill. Influence only shows up when you're dealing with other people, which means it leans hard on the RQ side too — you cannot influence someone you have no relationship with. EQ gives you the self-awareness and empathy to read the room; RQ gives you the rapport and trust to act on what you've read. Together, they decide whether your ideas move people or bounce off them.

    Two managers, one client, two completely different outcomes

    Ishan and Dipalee were both managers at a marketing firm. On paper, they had similar mandates: lead a team, win clients, deliver results. But their competencies in influence had vastly different effects on their success in the workplace.

    Ishan was a natural at persuading his team to follow his lead and convincing clients to choose his firm over competitors. His exceptional ability to build rapport with others and identify commonalities helped him create meaningful connections. He was also an excellent listener — which made his team feel valued and heard, not just managed.

    Dipalee struggled to build relationships with her team and clients. Her overly aggressive approach often lacked the empathy needed to connect with others, which made it challenging for her to gain the trust and respect of her team. Her clients were often hesitant to work with her, which limited her opportunities to succeed. She wasn't lazy and she wasn't incompetent — she simply hadn't built the muscle of influence, and it showed up exactly where it hurts most: in the moments that mattered.

    The project that separated them

    The test came during a crucial project for a major client. The project required a substantial investment of time and resources, and the team was struggling to stay motivated — the kind of grinding, resource-heavy assignment that exposes a manager's real skills, not their job title.

    Ishan was able to establish a strong rapport with the team by actively listening to their concerns and motivations. He didn't just assign tasks and check status reports — he found out what was actually draining his people, and addressed that first. He then created a compelling vision for the project, one that gave the team a reason to push through the grind rather than just tolerate it. The project was completed successfully, and the client was thrilled with the outcome.

    Dipalee's team, working under the same kind of pressure, had no such anchor. She struggled to motivate her team and failed to create a clear vision for the project. As a result, the team struggled to stay focused and motivated, and the project was ultimately delayed and delivered subpar results. The client was dissatisfied and ultimately chose to work with a competitor for future projects.

    Same firm. Same market conditions. Same kind of project. One manager's team rallied; the other's fell apart. That's what influence — or its absence — does to a P&L, not just to office morale.

    What influence actually is (and isn't)

    Influence is the art of persuading and motivating others to take a specific action or agree with an idea. It's a critical competency that can make or break one's success in various fields — from business to politics, education to entertainment. People who are good at influencing others possess the ability to get others to agree with them, make compelling presentations that are genuinely interesting to listeners, and use methods like indirect influence to build consensus and support. They know how to create situations that make their point land, rather than forcing it.

    While the power of influence is often associated with leaders, anyone can develop this skill with practice and effort. Salespeople need to persuade customers to buy their products. Teachers need to convince students to learn. Parents need to influence their children's behaviour. Ishan's edge over Dipalee wasn't a personality gift — it was a set of behaviours he'd practised until they became automatic.

    The three moves that build rapport

    Rapport is the foundation influence is built on — without it, you can't have a positive impact on someone's thoughts, feelings, and actions, no matter how good your argument is. Three moves build it consistently:

    Use active listening. This means paying close attention not just to words but to tone of voice, body language, and other nonverbal cues. If a colleague is frustrated about a project falling behind schedule, resist the urge to interrupt or offer unsolicited advice. Nod, maintain eye contact, ask open-ended questions. This is exactly what Ishan did with his stalled project team — he listened to what was draining them before he tried to re-motivate them.

    Find common ground. Identify shared interests, experiences, or beliefs that you and the other person can connect on. If you're meeting a potential client, research their interests beforehand. Discover they enjoy hiking, and you have a conversation starter and a personal connection that makes the business relationship easier to build. Indian politicians use this instinctively — during election campaigns, they visit local markets and talk to vendors and shoppers about their concerns, building a personal connection that translates into support.

    Be authentic. When you're genuine, honest, and transparent, you build trust and respect — the essential components of influence. A new manager meeting their team for the first time doesn't need to project authority or expertise. Sharing your own experiences and asking for input demonstrates that you value their contributions, and that's a far stronger opening move than trying to look like you have all the answers.

    The Machiavellian trap Dipalee fell into

    There's a sharp line between a true influencer and what I call the Machiavellian manipulator — and it's worth understanding, because from a distance the two can look similar. The manipulator aims for personal gain at the expense of others. The true influencer concentrates on building relationships and inspiring people toward a common goal.

    The Machiavellian manipulator tends to be self-centred, shows little respect for subordinates, focuses on personal gain and status, and may use charm and social skills to manipulate rather than connect. They mistreat the people below them and lose sight of the organisation's actual interests. Dipalee's "overly aggressive approach" wasn't calculated manipulation — but it produced the same effect: low trust, low buy-in, and a team that wouldn't go the extra mile for her when it mattered.

    The true influencer, by contrast, has strong relationship-building skills, focuses on outcomes that are good for everyone involved, builds consensus, and never loses sight of the organisation's interests along with their own. That's why true influence is crucial for effective leadership — it produces results that hold up over time, not just in one project cycle. A Machiavellian approach might win a single negotiation, but it erodes the trust you need for the next ten.

    A second proof point: Kaustubh and the marriage nobody could arrange

    I've seen this play out outside the marketing floor too. A friend of mine, Kaustubh, is one of the best examples I know of someone who has mastered the art of influencing others. I once had two employees, Shrimant and Aarti, who I thought would make a good match for marriage. After talking to them individually, they both agreed but needed time to get to know each other. Their parents and guardians, however, couldn't agree on the terms, and I was stuck.

    That's when I reached out to Kaustubh. He took the initiative to talk to both sets of parents and guardians, understood their perspectives and needs, and used his influence skills to find a solution that worked for everyone. Shrimant and Aarti were married later on. Kaustubh has used the same skill in difficult sales leads, employee salary negotiations, and workplace conflicts — proof that influence isn't confined to the boardroom. It's a life skill that happens to be worth a fortune at work.

    How to build this at your desk, starting Monday

    You don't need Ishan's years of practice to start. Pick one relationship this week — a stalled client, a demotivated teammate, a stakeholder who keeps saying no — and run the three-move sequence: listen without interrupting, find one piece of genuine common ground, and show up authentically instead of performing authority. Influence compounds. Every rapport-building conversation makes the next one easier, and every project you carry a team through on vision rather than pressure makes your next ask land faster.

    If you're building this as a team-wide capability rather than a personal habit, that's exactly the kind of shift we work on inside Signature Corporate Training Programs — because influence, unlike authority, has to be taught and practised, not assigned by an org chart.

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    TEDx Speaker · Founder, The Future Corporate · Author of Stars at India Inc.

    Avinash has trained the Indian Army, BRO, RBI, BARC, JSW Steel and 1000+ corporate leaders across India. His work focuses on leadership, emotional intelligence and behavioural training rooted in Indian values and modern business needs.

    Frequently Asked Questions

    What is the Ishan vs Dipalee example about?

    It's a real workplace comparison from Avinash Chate's book Stars at India Inc. of two marketing managers at the same firm — one who won a major client project through influence and rapport, and one who lost the account because her approach was aggressive and lacked empathy.

    What is influence as an EQ trait, and why does it matter at work?

    Influence is the ability to persuade and motivate others toward an action or idea without relying on authority or force. It matters because managers who can't influence struggle to get buy-in from teams and clients, which directly affects delivery, retention, and revenue.

    How is influence different from manipulation?

    A true influencer builds relationships, listens, and works toward outcomes that are good for everyone involved. A manipulator — the Machiavellian type — uses charm for personal gain, disregards the needs of others, and damages trust over time even if it produces short-term wins.

    Where does influence sit on the Winning Kite framework?

    Influence is Trait #18, part of the Social Skills cluster on the EQ (left) side of the Winning Kite. It works alongside Relationship Intelligence (RQ) on the right side, because influence is ultimately exercised through relationships.

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