The Elbaek Model: Map How You Really Relate to People

    The Elbaek Model is a simple self-assessment map that reveals the gap between how you see yourself and how your colleagues actually see you — the first practical tool for building real Relationship Quotient at work.

    The Elbaek Model: Map How You Really Relate to People

    The Elbaek Model: Map How You Really Relate to People

    When you think about success at work, what comes to mind first — great strategy, flawless execution, sharp leadership? Those matter. But the real game-changer is almost always your relationships: with your boss, your colleagues, your clients, even the office chaiwala. And before you can build stronger relationships with others, you have to see yourself clearly — including the parts of you that others see but you don't.

    In short

    Where this sits on your Winning Kite

    In The Winning Kite (KITE Leadership Framework), you rise on balance, not strength alone. The left side is EQ (Emotional Intelligence), the right side is RQ (Relationship Intelligence), the bottom is PQ (Productivity), and together they lift you to the top — Success. The Elbaek Model is the very first practical tool on the RQ — right — side of your kite. But notice something: you can't relate accurately to others until you assess yourself accurately, so this tool quietly strengthens your EQ too. Self-awareness is the hinge that connects the two sides.

    A tool that lets you see your own blind spots

    We all carry an illusion: that we already know ourselves, and that we already know the people around us. Dive a little deeper and the illusion cracks. There are areas we simply don't see clearly — but others can. Psychologists sometimes call these blind spots; I call them the reason two smart, well-meaning colleagues can walk out of the same meeting with completely different impressions of you.

    One brilliant, easy-to-use tool for uncovering these blind spots is the Uffe Elbaek Model. It was developed by Uffe Elbaek, a Danish innovator and leadership expert known for his work in organizational development. It's simple enough to sketch on a napkin, yet it does something powerful: it lets you see yourself from your own perspective and from the perspective of the people around you, side by side.

    Understanding the model: your self-assessment map

    Imagine the Elbaek Model as a self-assessment map. It uses several personality and behaviour traits, drawn as axes, and you can customise them for whatever matters most in your world. Common trait pairs look like this:

    Each axis is a pair of opposing qualities. The rule is simple: score yourself on each axis from 0 (least like you) to 10 (most like you), and the two ends of a single pair can't add up to more than 10. So if you're an 8 on Collaborative, you have at most a 2 left for Independent. That constraint forces honesty — you can't be a 10 at everything.

    Take Nikhil, an IT manager from Bengaluru. He rated himself an 8 on Collaborative and a 2 on Independent. Nikhil knows himself here — he thrives on team projects and struggles with solo work. Or Ayesha, a financial analyst in Mumbai, who gave herself a 9 on Optimistic and a 1 on Pessimistic, reflecting her habit of seeing the positive rather than dwelling on what might go wrong. So far, so tidy. The magic starts when someone else picks up the pen.

    Discovering your blind spots

    Here's how the exercise actually runs. First, you draw two diagrams: one honest self-assessment, and one showing how you perceive another person — say a colleague. At the same time, that colleague draws two diagrams too: one of themselves, and one of how they perceive you. Then you superimpose the diagrams. The hatched areas that don't overlap are the revelation. Those are your blind spots — qualities and behaviours that are obvious to others but invisible to you.

    You can make this sharper by involving more than one partner. Having two, three, or four trusted people assess you gives a far richer, more reliable picture than a single opinion. And you're free to swap the trait pairs for ones that fit your field — an engineer, a salesperson and a teacher will care about different axes.

    Now, what do the gaps mean? Sometimes you'll find you rated yourself far higher than your partner did. That usually means you haven't assessed yourself accurately — and often the culprit is ego. It's the quiet belief that "I'm the best" when others can plainly see your real level, or as we say in Hindi, "Teri aukaat kya hai?" That inflated self-image creates friction and misunderstanding without you ever noticing why. The opposite gap matters just as much: if you rate yourself lower than others do, you may be carrying a confidence problem — underselling a strength you actually have. Either way, accurate self-assessment is the goal, and this simple tool moves you toward it. That's why it lifts your EQ as much as your RQ.

    Rahul learns he isn't as fearless as he thought

    Take Rahul, a senior executive at a startup in Pune. Rahul saw himself as intensely optimistic — a 9 on Optimism, a 1 on Pessimism. Then his colleague Swati assessed him. She scored him a 6 on Optimism and, to his surprise, a 4 on Pessimism. Rahul was initially shocked. But Swati didn't just hand him numbers — she walked him through real moments where he'd quietly chosen the cautious, risk-reducing path. Once he heard the examples, the gap made sense. He wasn't the fearless optimist he pictured; he was more measured than that, and there was nothing wrong with it. By becoming aware of his blind spot, Rahul could consciously balance optimism with practicality — and, importantly, stop being surprised by his own decisions.

    Putting it to work in your professional life

    Used well, the Elbaek Model can noticeably improve both your relationships and your performance. Here's how to run it this week:

    1. Choose relevant traits. Adapt the axes to your actual work. Useful pairs include Honest vs. Diplomatic, Analytical vs. Creative, Introverted vs. Extroverted, Risk-Taking vs. Cautious, Innovative vs. Conventional, Assertive vs. Passive, and Detail-Oriented vs. Strategic Thinking.
    2. Self-assess. Rate yourself honestly on each axis. Don't overthink or hunt for the "correct" answer — authenticity is the whole point.
    3. Get an external assessment. Ask someone trustworthy and honest — your immediate supervisor, a reliable team member, or a mentor — to rate you on the same traits.
    4. Compare and identify blind spots. Overlay the two assessments and talk openly about the biggest differences. That single conversation, done in good faith, can boost your self-awareness and your relationship with that person more than any performance review.

    None of this is about beating yourself up. Carol Dweck's research on the growth mindset makes a related point: people who treat feedback as information rather than a verdict improve faster than people who treat it as a threat. The Elbaek Model is simply a structured, low-drama way to collect that information — a map instead of an argument.

    Real stories from Indian workplaces

    Manufacturing — Chennai. Ramesh, a production manager at an automotive plant, discovered through the model that his team saw him as overly assertive, almost aggressive — something he'd never realised about himself. Recognising that blind spot let him shift to a more collaborative style, and both productivity and morale climbed.

    Education — Hyderabad. Priya, a university professor, believed she was quite innovative. Her peers, though, saw her as overly cautious and hesitant to try new teaching methods. Once she understood the gap, she stepped out of her comfort zone, introduced engaging digital tools, and won strong feedback from students and colleagues alike.

    Hospitality — Jaipur. Arjun, the general manager of a luxury hotel, learned that his relentless optimism sometimes made him wave away the practical concerns his team kept raising. Aware of it, he learned to pair optimism with realism — leading to better-run projects and happier employees.

    IT — Bengaluru. And the gap runs the other way too. Priya, a team lead at a software firm, rated herself just 3 out of 10 on assertiveness. Her team rated her a 7. That discrepancy told her she was far more assertive than she believed — and it gave her the confidence to own her decisions in the room. The Elbaek Model doesn't only cut ego down; it can also give a quietly capable person permission to stand taller.

    Your next steps

    Now it's your turn to feel the magic of the Elbaek Model:

    Using this tool isn't just about self-improvement — it's about building deeper, more meaningful relationships at work. Success at India Inc. isn't only about what you know; it's about how well you connect with the people around you. That's the entire point of the RQ side of your Winning Kite, and if you want your team to run this exercise together, it's one of the first things we do in my corporate training programs. So take a moment today, dive into the Elbaek Model, and watch your professional relationships — and your career — soar.

    Bring These Ideas to Your Team

    Avinash Chate turns the traits in Stars at India Inc. into live leadership & emotional-intelligence workshops. TEDx speaker · 11+ yrs training Army, BRO, RBI, BARC, JSW & 1000+ leaders.

    ✅ Thanks! Avinash team will reach out within 24 hours.

    '}).catch(function(e){f.outerHTML='

    Something went wrong. WhatsApp +91 8793630001

    '});return false;">Select ServiceKeynote / Motivational SpeakingLeadership Development TrainingTeam Building WorkshopManager DevelopmentEmployee TrainingBook Avinash Now →

    Or WhatsApp directly: +91 87936 30001

    Work with Avinash Chate

    Avinash Chate

    TEDx Speaker · Founder, The Future Corporate · Author of Stars at India Inc.

    Avinash has trained the Indian Army, BRO, RBI, BARC, JSW Steel and 1000+ corporate leaders across India. His work focuses on leadership, emotional intelligence and behavioural training rooted in Indian values and modern business needs.

    Frequently Asked Questions

    What is the Elbaek Model?

    The Elbaek Model is a self-assessment map developed by Danish innovator Uffe Elbaek. You rate yourself on pairs of opposing traits, then have a trusted colleague rate you on the same traits. Overlaying the two reveals your blind spots — qualities visible to others but hidden from you.

    How do you score yourself on the Elbaek Model?

    Pick trait pairs like Optimistic vs. Pessimistic. Score each pair from 0 to 10, where the two ends must add up to no more than 10. So an 8 on Collaborative leaves at most 2 for Independent. Be honest, not aspirational.

    What does a big gap between my score and my colleague's mean?

    If you rate yourself much higher than others do, it usually signals an ego-driven blind spot and an over-inflated self-image. If you rate yourself lower than others do, it often points to a confidence gap. Both are useful — the gap is the lesson.

    Where does the Elbaek Model fit in the Winning Kite framework?

    It sits on the RQ — Relationship Intelligence — side of the Winning Kite, but it directly strengthens EQ too, because accurate self-assessment is the foundation of self-awareness. It is the first practical RQ tool in Stars at India Inc.

    Related Articles by Avinash Chate

    Avinash Chate services

    Corporate Trainer in Bengaluru · Top Corporate Trainers in India · Leadership Trainer in Bengaluru · Top Leadership Trainers in India · Team Building Trainer in Bengaluru · Top Team Building Trainers in India · Motivational Speaker in Bengaluru · Top Motivational Speakers in India · All service locations

    ← Back to all articles · Book Avinash Chate

    By Avinash Chate — Maharashtra’s #1 Corporate Trainer & Motivational Speaker. .